did we loose that loving feeling?

You know when you read something and it sparks a thought in your head and then for the rest of the day you feel like everything going on around you is linked to that spark? Kind of like a spider map you use to make as a kid…that is exactly what happened to me today…

I finally started reading “The Homefront Club” by Jacey Eckart, can I just say this woman might be my long lost older twin sister…here is the first line of her about the author section, “As an Air Force brat, Jacey Eckhart grew up swearing she would never enter the military herself or marry anyone who did.” Ummm, hello, just recplace Air Force with Navy and I’ve said that same phrase since I was just a kid…fast forward to my mid twenties when I did in fact marry my sweet husband, who is, you guessed it, in the Navy.

I got to the end of page 5 and already it hit me, this ain’t the same Navy you grew up in girl. Ok, so I knew that long ago, but this just reinforced it “When the command stopped paying attention, we families stopped attending all those keep-’em-busy-and-out-of-our-hair activities. We stopped meeting and knowing and supporting each other. These days, families sink or families swim, and they do it alone.” How true that last sentence is, it stuck to my brain like bubble gum to a 4 year olds hair.

I admit, I have few close friends that are military spouses, I’d say one actually, and a handful that I speak to often but don’t share my innermost thoughts with. I do however have a good handful of “aunts” that have been military wives for 20 plus years, as well as my own mother. With that being said I think it is fair to say there are two different worlds when you are a Navy wife, the wife with kids, and the wife without. I know, I know, that seems like I might be generalizing too much, but it is the most clear separation I have seen. Looking at wives with kids and comparing it to how it was when I was a kid, things sure are different. Gone are the days where you create a family with the neighbors around you and the families of your husbands command. No longer is there a babysitting ring that takes place where you watch each others kids, or where your old kids watch the neighbor kids. Am I saying this is extinct, not at all, but do I see it at my current base location, Houston, that’s a no. I see a CDC that is constantly made available. That is a great, but it makes it easier to loose that bond and connection with other families and wives. The support system between wives seems to not be as strong as it was when I was growing up as a child and observing it all. I have spoken with friends and wives who say that OCONUS (overseas) it is a whole new ball game and the bond and connection is there, and is much stronger then when families are back CONUS (state side).

I obviously have no idea what the bond and connection is like with other wives who have kids, as we do not yet have any little ones running around, not even a bun in the oven…let’s see if we can change that….ok, ok, that is another post topic entirely. Back to the topic at hand, maybe once you have kids you develop a greater connection with other Navy wives. You are no longer just trying to figure out the military life as a wife, but instead now as a mommy too. You become part of that secret society that thinks differently, speaks differently and probably looks at life differently, because a watermelon came out of your who-who. My fear is that my relationships and connections with other wives will not change once we finally get that bun in the oven and then out on the table…what if things really are that different and everyone tries to do it all on their own. Doesn’t the old saying go “it takes a village to raise a child,” what if my village is more like a one-mama-show????

becoming a professional packer...

According to the Department of the Navy, Navy families move every 2.9 years. That means after you PCS (permanent change of station) you have about 3 years to settle in before you get up and do it all over again...lather, rinse and repeat...

After Scott and I got married in April of 2009 I had already given my notice at work and moved up to Ventura CA on May 1st. It took me 5 months to find a job and about another 5 months to feel some what settled into my job. That brings us to now, March 2010. The crazy part is Scott is up for orders in October of 2011, a mere 18 months away! Plus, once he graduates from college in May of 2011 he is going to try and get to our next duty station asap. That means in a little over a year I could be packing up and starting the process all over again! This thought didn't come to fruition until I was doing a project at work and it is going to be about a year until we really see its results, at that moment I realized when that year gets here I will have just another couple of months before I attend my own smooth move class at the ffsc, this time not as the educator, but as the audience! {wowza, that might worlds longest sentence!}

The reality of moving on average every 2.9 years the cycle will look something like this:
Move-->spend up to 6 months settling in and finding a job --->spend 6 months getting comfortable at new job--->then a little over a year at job before you start prepping to do it all again!

I grew up a Navy brat so while I am used to moving as a child, moving as a spouse is a whole new ball game. I was playing football before, now its soccer I've got to learn, and I've already said "sign me up coach!" As a child you just follow the lead of your parents and when you get to the your new home you sign up for school and go on your merry way. As a spouse it is a bit frightening. You have to look for a new job, and deal with the pay cut should you move to city/state that has a lessor cost of living. If that happens to be the case it probably also means the BAH (basic allowance for housing) will be less and thus we will probably be pocketing less of that as well. A girl becomes accustomed to a certain spending habits and it takes massive amounts of will power not to drop $100 plus during a quick pit stop to Target. Take yesterday for example, I was in there for about 15 minutes and spend $50!!

The moral to my bloggry(blog post+story) is time flies when your life is run by the United States Navy! Just when you start to settle in and get comfortable the next adventure starts to creep its head around the corner...our next adventure is going to creep up on us before we know it!

the proposal...

How funny, I started this blog exactly 1 year later from my other blog!

Here is the story of how Scott proposed...

you might also notice that it says our wedding is June 5, 2010....it is, that is when we are having the actual party, ceremony, reception etc. But like my first post said we were first married April 16, 2009...

Scott proposed on Saturday (March 14, 2009) morning at Kate Sessions Park. The park over looks Pacific Beach, and you can see the city as well as the ocean. We have been talking about watching the sunrise for months so we decided this Saturday would be the day. Little did I know Scott would be proposing! We got up just before the sun was suppose to rise and got to the park, but it was too cloudy. Despite me being a brat and not wanting to get out of the car since there was no point, I gave in. We walked to a bench at the top of the park and sat to look at the amazing view. I was looking off to the left hoping the sun would rise through the clouds and miraculously we would see the sunrise. While I am wishing for a sunrise miracle Scott is busy getting out the ring and getting on one knee...I of course immediately started crying like crazy and shaking. At some point between the laughing, crying and shaking I said YES!...this was only part 1 of a 3 part surprise. Our first picture being engaged...



Part 2 was him and I having breakfast on the beach, or so I thought...we rode our bikes down to the beach and waited 30 minutes to go into the breakfast place with many open seats. I should have known he was up to something else, but I was too excited to put two and two together. We finally go inside The Eggery and I soon find out our very good friends Luke and Tisha and little Em too, are here to celebrate with us!

Part 3 of my day of surprise was dinner. Scott said he made dinner reservations for him and I for sushi at 830. I then proceed to make plans to have drinks afterwards with all of my friends. After the trickery he played in the morning I must have asked him about 15 times through out the day if dinner was just him and I, because I was going to be very embarrassed if I made all these plans if they were going to be at dinner. He assured me all 15 times dinner was just him and I. We get to Zen 5 and Scott walks right in...If follow behind with a very puzzled look on my face. I turn the corner to find 9 of my closest friends including my sister sitting at a table waiting for me!!! Again, completely surprised!!!


It was the most wonderful amazing day. Scott did everything perfectly, and being able to share this day with my friends was awesome. If only my parents could have been there too...but a flight from Guam would have taken a few days!

p.s. the date is June 5, 2010

welcome to our little world...

Welcome to my second blog, dedicated to everything about a navy wife and military life!


I thought it only fitting to start a blog about my adventures as a navy wife since I am also a navy brat! Yes, I grew up insisting that I would not marry the military but low and behold the day after my 26th birthday I married the man of my dreams and he happens to wear the irresistible navy uniform 5, sometimes 6 days a week!

I am going to spend the first few posts going over a little background of our lives and then, well, who knows what topics will be discussed!

Stay tuned!